The Varieties of Opinion: “Wonder World” by the Wonder Girls
Sean Tierney—a musician, film blogger, and previously a professor at the Chinese University of Hong Kong—has “a sterling vocabulary and a shitty attitude”:
I don’t know shit about K-Pop. And after listening to this CD, I can see why. Granted, I’m really not the demographic. Middle-aged white guys (hopefully) don’t make up too much of the Wonder Girls audience.
Wonder World opens with “G.N.O.”, shorthand for Girls’ Night Out. It has a lot of that irritating spoken-word stuff where a chorus ought to be, and it’s completely smothered by that horrific Cher vocal effect. Most if not all of it is ‘sung’ in English, but I still couldn’t tell you what the hell they were saying.
Partially because I couldn’t care and partially because it was just f@#$ing incomprehensible.
Next up is “Be My Baby,” which unfortunately for me was not a cover of the Phil Spector song. Unless Phil Spector was Korean.
And retarded.
The best part of this song was when I stopped it in the middle so I could watch a Motorhead video on YouTube. Lemmy Kilminster is 70 years old and has one lung, and he still sings circles around these dingbats.
And is it just me, or is every sound on this record (except 60% of the vocals) produced by a cheap synthesizer?
“Girls Girls” is “for the girls all around the world.” But hey, what that line lacks in lyrical originality is more than made up for by the odd, unsettling timbre that the speaker’s accent gives it.
Then the song gets worse.
She says she wants to say something (in English). Then she says it in Korean. This is not what we call communicating effectively.
But maybe I’m just jealous ’cause I’m not a girl.
Or Korean.
I wish all their lyrics were in Korean. Because then I’d have an excuse for not understanding what the f@#$ they’re saying.
“Me, in.” Me, confused. I know these guitars are fake, but considering the Wonder Girls’ t*ts are too, I guess I can forgive them.
Yeah, this song is like a fake breast; perfectly crafted but lacking in any kind of realness.
Wait, there’s 5 Wonder Girls, so it’s like 10 fake t*ts.
“Sweet Dreams” will give me bitter disco nightmares. I’d hate to see the video for this song. Because I hate the f@#$ing song.
Next up is a song called “Stop!” So I did. And I like it better already.
“Dear. Boy” (sic) starts with someone saying “You make me sad and cry again.” I know how she feels. But then the next part is all Korean (I think), so I have no idea what the guy did. Probably said “Your music blows.” I need to buy that kid a beer. With a stripper on it.
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Have these reviews piqued your curiosity? You can purchase a copy of Wonder World from Amazon.com. Give the album a listen, and post your own responses below!
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TAGS: k-pop • Patrick Lukens • review • Sean Tierney • South Korea • Susan Kim • Wonder Girls • Wonder World
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